Barefoot and Pregnant?

When a barefoot girl got sick

by Sharleen W.L.

barefoot and pregnant
Barefoot and pregnant
11:30pm Sunday night - I just get home after a fun night out with friends. I'm barefoot as usual and my feet are pretty dirty but I'm really sleepy and tired, so I don't bother washing them before entering the house. I go straight to my bedroom upstairs, quickly brush my teeth, take everything off, and jump into bed and hug my Emo (teddy bear) tight. Yes, this is one of those instances Tania mentioned in one of her posts.*

I'm awaken around 3am with a crampy tummy ache. At first I thought it was just gas and tried to continue sleeping. But the pain gets worse and now I'm also really queasy. I can't hold it anymore, so I run to the bathroom and throw up. Cold sweat runs down my neck. I'm kinda scared as this has never happened before. The last time I threw up was when I was 7 and got car-sick.

I need to let my parents know, but I'm too weak to go down to the master bedroom. So I put on something comfortable and call mom's cell phone. Mom rushes up to my room followed by dad. I tell 'em what happened and mom's really nervous. Dad remains calm, however. From looking at me he doesn't think we need to go to the hospital. He tells me to drink plenty of liquid and try to go back to sleep.

He strokes my head, kisses me and says, "don't worry sweetheart, your gonna feel much better in the morning. Trust me!"

"Ok daddy," I reply smiling faintly.

Mom decides to sleep in my room as there's another bed there (the one Tania used to sleep in when we were sharing the room). Its comforting to have mom with me but that also means I have to sleep wearing clothes. Bummer! ;) After drinking lots of water and juice I lay back in bed and slowly fall back to sleep with Emo in my arms.

I wake up as the sun shines through my window. I look at the clock and its a few minutes after 8. Mom's not there. Everyone must be eating breakfast downstairs. I'm feeling better but still a little weak. I quickly wash up and head down to the dining room. Everyone's so happy to see me. I still have no appetite though, so I just eat like 3 pieces of fruits and drink a cup of hot tea.

Mom calls my doctor's office to see if she can see me this morning. She just wants to make sure I don't have anything serious. They happen to have an opening at 10:30. That means I won't be going to school this morning which is ok since I don't like that math class anyway, especially after the prof yelled at me the other day.**

"Are you going barefoot?" asks mom as were ready to leave for the doctor's office.
I'm like, "of course, mommy! The doctor has seen me barefoot before and she's fine with it."
"Yeah, but if your not feeling well maybe you should wear something on your feet!" she says.
I'm like, "aw come on mom, I'm fine!"

Mom doesn't argue any further but I find it amusing that after all these years she still tries to talk me out of going barefoot every now and then, despite knowing its an effort in futility. :)

My doctor is a young lady who once told me she also likes to go barefoot and does it occasionally when she's off work, but I've never run into her outside the clinic.

So I'm laying on the exam table with the bottoms of my feet facing mom as the doctor checks me out. The doc says she needs to go get something and will be right back.

When she's out of the room mom asks me, "how come your feet are so dirty already? We didn't walk that far from the car!"

U-oh, here comes trouble! I'm caught off guard and have no choice but to fess up.

So I cringe and I'm like, "oh...uh...because...well...I was really tired last night so I didn't wash my feet before going to bed."

Mom glares at me and opens her mouth ready to give me a tongue-lashing. Then as if by magic the door swings open and the doc is back in the room. Ohh...thank you universe!

The doc politely asks mom to wait outside as she wants to talk to me privately. So she asks me a few personal questions and gives me some advice. She believes I have some sort of food poisoning from something I ate yesterday. She says since I'm healthy, my body will take care of itself, so she doesn't even give me any medication. But she orders some tests just to be sure everything's fine.

By the time we leave the clinic mom has completely forgotten about my dirty feet as were talking about other stuff. Yes, life is magical like that. :) We decide to have an early lunch since I ate very little this morning and now I'm kinda hungry. We choose a vegetarian cafe in town. Mom says its better for my tummy and I agree.

After lunch we head back home. Normally I would now wash my feet but you know what? I'm actually thinking of going to school. I'd get bored at home and besides, I have 2 of my favorite classes this afternoon (Sociology and Psychology) which I'd hate to miss. I haven't made up my mind yet, though. Its only noon, and I have about an hour to relax and decide.

So I go up to my room with my feet still dirty. I read a chapter from the Psychology textbook and take a short nap. Its nice to nap in my own bed with Emo which I don't get to do very often.

At about 1pm I go down and ask mom if she's willing to drive me to campus and I can come home with Tania later. She's a little surprised and says I should just rest the entire day but after hearing my reasons, she agrees to take me.

Mom drops me off in front of the main campus. As soon as her car is out of sight I lite up a cigarette and smoke as I walk to class.

I won't be seeing my boyfriend today, so we'll just have to make it up tomorrow with a super hot one, lol.


6:30pm - I'm back home. Were going out for dinner tonight so my dirty feet go unwashed yet again :) Were going to a seafood resterant on the other side of the island, so we'll be leaving a little early - like in 15 minutes.

Dad decides to take the Mercedes SUV (GL 550) instead of the Toyota minivan. I quickly jump on the opportunity.

"Ooo daddy, can I drive? Please, please...?"
Dad looks at me and asks, "are you feeling well enough to drive? Its quite far, you know?"
"Of course, daddy! I'm as good as new!"
"Ok then," he says handing me the keys.
"Yay, thank you daddy!"
He smiles and hugs me. "Love you sweetheart!"
"Love you too daddy!"

At first I thought dad was going to sit in the front with me, but he lets Kevin (my little bro) do that instead.

I just love driving this GL 550. I feel like I'm piloting a luxury aircraft. At night the mood lighting makes it even more pleasant. Btw, I always drive barefoot. Even when I'm wearing flip flops I always take 'em off when I drive. That way I can feel the pedals really well. Some people believe its illegal to drive barefoot which is absolutely untrue! It should be the other way around - they should make it illegal to drive with anything on your feet as it impedes your control of the pedals.

I like to speed when driving our BMW convertible (which gives Kevin a thrill but makes mom nervous, lol), but with this car I just take it easy, especially with the whole family onboard.

Dad has The Moody Blues CD playing in the car. There's one particular song that I really like - Nights in White Satin and I sing along as it plays. Kinda strange to like a song that was released long before I was born. What's even stranger is that this is not a particularly happy song, especially the poem at the end called Late Lament which is a bit depressing, actually. Yet I feel good vibes when listening to this song. I find it sentimental and somewhat soothing.

I comment on that and mom says, "well, maybe because you have a positive disposition, so your able to filter out all the negative energy and take in the positive."

I'm like, "wow, that's pretty deep mom, and your oh, so sweet!"
"But its true!" she says as she hugs me from behind. "And I commend you for driving very smoothly tonight," she adds.
"Why, thank you mommy!"
You see, mom can be a little mean sometimes but I know she really loves me.

I really enjoy the sumptuous dinner at the resterant as I have fully regained my appetite.

As we get back into our town I ask mom and dad if its ok stop by the drug store as I need to buy shampoo and conditioner. They agree but tell me to just go in by myself as no one else needs anything from the store. So I park the car and walk across the lot to the store. I suddenly have a funny feeling that I'm being a lot of eyes.

Inside the store I take a look at my soles. Wow, their black from 2 days of going barefoot without being washed! I better wash 'em good when I get home. :) Or...should I just be like Tania and sleep in my filthy feet for another night? That'd be pretty wild! After all I'll be taking a shower tomorrow morning, so why waste water, right? But then again, I hate to make my tub all dirty. Well, I'll decide what to do later when I get home.

I grab the shampoo and conditioner and head to the cashier. Since I'm running low on cigarettes I decide to buy a pack. The cashier asks for my ID as I look under-age. "Is this for yourself?" she asks.
I'm like, "yeah." She smiles and says, "have a wonderful night!"
"Thanks, you too!" I reply.

"So did you get everything you need?" asks mom as I get back in the car.
"Yes, I did" I say, quickly handing the bag to Kevin for I don't want mom or dad to get ahold of it and see the contents. ;)

11.00pm - I'm reading in my room and there's a knock on my door. Its Kevin.
I'm like, "hey, what's up bud?"
"Lynn (my nickname), your not gonna believe this!" he says as soon as he sits down.
I'm like, "what?!"

"Ok, as you were walking towards the store we were all looking at you." (Aha, that explains the funny feeling I had)."You were looking really hot in your outfit, barefoot and everything..." (I was wearing my favorite outfit - a pair of torn denim shorts and a cami with my midriff slightly exposed). " really looked like a..." he pauses.

"Yes...?" I ask with anticipation, smiling at the same time.
" a very free-spirited girl," he says.
I'm like, "oh..." breathing a sigh of relief as I was expecting to hear something worse, lol. "Ok, so what happened?" I asks.

"Well, mom said something very softly, almost whispering, to dad but I think everyone heard it, at least I did..." he pauses again.

So I'm like, "well come on, what did she say?"
"Um...she said, 'do you think she's pregnant?'"

I burst out laughing when I hear that. Mom must really be worried. "And what did dad say?"
"He said, 'well, I certainly hope not!'" and I laugh some more.

"What do YOU think Kev?" I asks teasingly.
"Well, I uh...I dunno, Lynn! It never occured to me until mom mentioned it. So...are you?" he asks back.

I can't contain myself anymore. "Hahahaha, you little twerp! Now get outta here, I wanna study!" and I smack his arm really good.
"Ow!" he screams as he walks out. I betcha his curiosity is even stronger now, lol.


8:20am a couple of days later.

We just get done eating breakfast when my phone rings. Its my doctor calling to tell me she got my test results back, and their all normal. So I pass on the good news to everyone. But I can't resist saying this, " the way, I'm not pregnant. Sorry to disappoint you guys!"

Suddenly there's dead silence as everyone is shocked to hear that and they all look at me in disbelief while I grin in amusement.

"Whose talking about being pregnant?" asks Debbie breaking the silence.

Dad in his wisdom quickly tries to dissolve the awkward situation saying, "well, it did cross our minds but there's no disappointment here as were glad we were wrong, and were sorry we misjudged you, Lynn!"

"Its ok daddy, no big deal," and I go on to say, "but dad, what would you do if I was pregnant?"

"First of all, we'll always love you no matter what, and I hope you know that, but that doesn't mean its ok for you to just get pregnant. What we would do would depend on a lot of factors like who the father is, etc., and I'd rather not talk about it at this point since it would all be speculative as your not pregnant now."

"Ok, fair enough," I say still smiling.

Barefoot and not pregnant
Mom is tight-lipped the entire time, she doesn't even smile. I can tell she's not amused by my smart ass remarks. So I'm barefoot but not pregnant :) and how do I know? Well, that's a secret! :p

Now did you (yeah, you reading this!) also think I was pregnant? Are you happy that I'm not? Or perhaps you were hoping I was, as you think I deserve it for being so free and naughty? Well, sorry to disappoint you, lol. Or maybe you don't give a  f c u k?  Fine! :p

Thanks for reading. From paradise Hawaii this is Sharleen reminding you that life is magical. Yes, even when you get sick and your family thinks your pregnant :) So...

Aloha, and have a magical day!

Enjoy going barefoot? Check out this book!

*Clean vs dirty bare feet
**Going barefoot in college

Disclaimer: This blog does not advocate smoking. You should not smoke especially if you are pregnant!